Do you remember the time when some asshole would light up a cigarette and blow smoke in your face just before he was about to kick your ass for walking on his street on your way to school? Of course you don’t because that doesn’t happen to you. Why? Because you fucking vape! You wouldn’t take that shit from cigarette smoking assholes. You would just pull out your custom mod and trigger some serious clouds right back at his punk ass then vanish as the vape dissipated. Those cigarette smoking douches are dead. The old school generation are dying of lung cancer and are only capable of speaking to you with some sort of electronic device in their throat.

If you would look up sometimes and keep your face out of your handset, you would notice that there are vape stores all over the place now. Yes, a vape store by the local grocery store, the auto parts store, the community church, the gas station, in the middle of downtown, and even those ice cream men push the e cigs now. The vape craze is hitting the streets harder than the fucking pet rocks, I mean Pokemon go. Everyone in the world must be losing their fucking minds! These electronic assholes are blowing chemicals out into the environment, and the ozone is going to get a bigger fucking hole than what Aqua Net did to it in the late 80’s. I mean, after all, this is what a lot of people must be thinking. However, this is not the case. You don’t believe me? Shiiiiiiiit, let me drop some knowledge on you son!

Full disclaimer, I do not vape! So why the fuck would I talk about this shit if I don’t vape? It is because for about 6 months my vaping nephew, who smelled like some sort of vaporized fruit cups, lived with me and happened to be some sort of vaping fiend? Remember that character from Charlie Brown? You know, that one who walked around with a dirt cloud. Well, my nephew looked like that, and it was all because of how much he vaped. I had to ask about it, and he went on to tell me the story of vaping, the e juice, the coils, the mods, the whole vape life. On and on and on, so much that it bored the shit out of me. Literally. I must have walked to the bathroom to poop, only to walk out of the bathroom just to hear a continuation of this so called vape life.

This is where the topic of the FDA came in, and suddenly I could relate. As a UAV pilot, I had similar issues with a government entity known as the FAA. I began to understand how misinformation could really cause fear and panic among the people not willing to understand.

I had to see for myself what the vape culture was all about. It led me to Metroplex Vapor in the Fort Worth area. Colby and Ken were running the place, and they seemed pretty chill. Two guys living the dream and kicking it in their lounge environment. I soon realized that I too wanted to own my very own lounge. These lounges sell a variety of vape related products which cater to the entry level vapist (is that even a word?) to the hardcore Super Saiyan vapist. There’s lots of e liquid or juice flavors that you can choose from; some with different levels of nicotine, and other without. It is all up to you, and those who want to ween themselves off of smoking use vaping as an alternative. It’s been helpful to a lot of people, and in these establishments, the support for quitting smoking has been phenomenal. People actually feel camaraderie here. It also smells like fruits.

There’s been lots of studies on vaping. Is it safe? I mean, you’re inhaling vapor into your lungs, and I think that’s equivalent to sticking your face towards a fog machine. That’s never killed me, but then again, I don’t do that every day. It is safer than smoking, at least that is what I am told. There’s a shit ton of chemicals in cigarettes and natural ingredients in vaping. Am I wrong? Someone please let me know. Then, I saw a sign at Denny’s this one time. The sign was very detailed. It stated, “No vaping is allowed. The chemicals found in vaping are the very same chemicals found in anti-freeze.” Holy shit! Anti-freeze? You mean people are vaping chemicals found in anti-freeze?

Back to my nephew again, he says vaping consists of VG and PG. What the hell are those? Venereal Gas and Poisonous Gases? I am so scared right now. Someone please tell me that I am jumping to conclusions! Well, I am. Propylene Glycol and Vegetable Glycerin are two of the main ingredients found in the e juices. I guess these are used in automotive applications. Maybe it is similar to when you use a product that’s meant for one thing and used for another. Like putting tooth paste on your zits or something. I don’t know. I am no expert, but go read about it on the “jumping to conclusions” forums between those parties who vape vs those who don’t.

Vaping is big business, There are even conventions with cloud competitions. Guys and gals square off to see who can produce the biggest clouds, and the winner gets a prize.

Think of the children! I can hear the voices of moms and dads becoming anti-vaping activists as we speak. They are marketing Fruit Loops flavors to children! Yeah, well, some adults just like Fruit Loops. So someone made an alcoholic beverage like it, and it was only a matter of time before they made an e juice flavor. It doesn’t mean they are marketing to kids. You know, some people just refuse to listen though, and it’s pandemonium. Shops are good about following the rules. I posed as a 13 year old boy and called several shops in the DFW area asking if they could sell me e juice. I even sounded all young and child like, but nope, these shops weren’t having it. One guy called me a bitch and threatened to call my mom if I didn’t stop calling up there and asking if they had Pokemon e juice. Fuck that guy! I don’t live with my mom.

People are going to do crazy shit with vapor, electronics, juice, and cotton. Why the hell not? Maybe it is safer than smoking, and maybe Big Tobacco has a problem with vaping taking chunks of their profits every year. Who the hell knows. The industry is growing and becoming more responsible by strict guidelines provided by the FDA. Some believe the guidelines to be too strict, preventing some vape businesses from prospering. I think what may be happening is what’s called survival of the fittest. Separating the men from the boys as it were. I mean maybe we don’t need a vapor store on every corner, but as long as the culture exists, there will be people who will continue to breathe new life into it.